Groom’s Role in Wedding Planning

When the talk turns to wedding planning, the focus is almost always on the bride. After all, this is her big day. But does that mean that all of the planning for an upcoming wedding should be left to the bride to be and her family? Certainly not. This is the groom’s big day as well, and it is important that he be involved in the planning process. Unfortunately, advice for newlyweds planning their upcoming nuptials is almost exclusively geared towards the bride, and the groom can be left wondering just what his level of involvement should be. So let’s take a quick look at wedding planning from the groom’s perspective, and focus on his responsibilities for the big day.

Choosing the Best Man and the Groomsmen

Choosing the best man is one of the first things a groom should consider following his engagement to the girl of his dreams. The choice of best man is vitally important. He will not only be holding the ring and making speeches at the reception, the best man will also be responsible for your bachelor party, and will be in charge of the ushers and groomsmen during the ceremony. It is important to choose someone reliable that will help you remain calm and collected throughout the big day.

The groomsmen will serve as ushers at the wedding, and as escorts for the bridesmaids. The number of groomsmen will depend largely on the size of the wedding, and the number of bridesmaids. Generally, one usher for every fifty guests is suitable, but keep in mind that there should be a groomsmen for each of your bride’s bridesmaids.

Wedding Attire

Decide in advance if you will be renting or purchasing your wedding suit, and allow plenty of time for fittings. All grooms want to be stylish on their wedding day, but consider comfort as well. Choose something that is suitable to the season, and that will wear comfortably throughout the day. Also keep in mind that your suit, and those of your groomsmen, should be well coordinated with the dresses chosen for the bride and bridesmaids. Obviously, you won’t get to see the bridal gown before the wedding, but discuss your wardrobe choices with your fiance so you can be sure that what you decide upon won’t clash with the rest of the wedding party. Your choice of wedding attire should be finalized at least three months prior to the wedding day, to avoid any last minute problems.

The Guest List

Grooms should compile their own guest list early in the wedding planning process. Consult your parents about any relatives that should be included in the wedding party to ensure that know one is omitted. Planning a wedding can be hectic, and it is easy to overlook an important aunt or uncle. Once your guest list has been completed, you can compare notes with your fiance to finalize a list that includes both sides of the family.


The groom is traditionally responsible for arranging transportation for the wedding party on the big day. Begin making arrangements early. If you are hiring a car service, be sure to review the contracts carefully concerning costs and length of service. Also, coordinate with the service concerning the location of the wedding and the venue you have booked for the reception that there will be no delays in travel time.

Toasts and Speeches

It is traditional for the groom to give a speech, and to make one or more toasts, at the wedding reception. Don’t leave these to the last minute. On the day you will likely be nervous and excited, and you will want to have your speeches well rehearsed. Start working on your toasts and speeches early. Bring a copy of your speech with you, or have the best man hold it, so you can refer to it if needed during the day’s festivities.

Planning a wedding takes time and patience, and while much of the focus is on the happy bride, the groom must also be prepared to do his share. Let your fiance know that you want to be involved as much as possible in the planning process, and be ready to help with the more mundane aspects like sending out invitations, working out a budget, and coordinating with the wedding venue. A wedding is one of the happiest days in a young couple’s life together, and it takes two make the day a success.

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